I will walk the steps you take
kiss the things you hurt.

I fall for the heart you walk on
and dream of the pain you speak.

I imagined you in your dark room
and stripped you with my mind.

You are so fond of the things you see
and hate the things you touch.

If I were your pain
I would fill your mind.
If I were your heart
I would bleed your soul.

I am still here. On the other side.
The mirror never looks back.

I have sex just to see if I can still feel.

I would give anything to be alone with you.

I fell asleep in my sweat last night.

And woke up in my tears.

I’m flying high.

I followed your body with mine,

Opened my soul to you,

for a minute.

And then, we came, and love

was the furthest thing from my mind.

I think I made you up inside my head.

No shower can wash that away

and my bed still smells of you

all of you

and it rots

in my head with the rest

the thoughts of pain love and yearning

and for the night, I felt needed

and woke up with a stain

on my heart

that would never go away.

I would see you
Jealous of the way the cigarette kissed my lips
To long to wait
You’d kiss with the smoke on my breath
You still have it
The mark on your shirt, from the time
Abandoning reason
You embraced me so fast, the fire of my cigarette
Extinguished by your coat.

And here we were
Not the faintest idea of time or place.
But knowing everything
Within the reach of each others hands.

And we whisper
Do the walls remember the force?
Did they hear?
The words you said, to me, in me.
Would they tell
Of times when all hope was lost
Or of the way
You were happy, and I happy, with you.

I’ve aged…
We’ve all gotten older, and still
In a blink…
I am back, on the couch, in the bed
To the wall
Don’t breathe, this old house knows
More than it tells.

I fashioned my heart for you
cut from the sleeves of my shirts
I showed you where to rip
the parts to take and keep
and the places to put your lies.

I walked under the street light
for fear of breathing the dark.
and found you in my lungs
filth mixed with bile, your scent
you took my breath away

I took your words as they
glazed my eyes
and felt your secrets spread
between the sheets
with your sweat in my skin

For you I’ve burned
inside and out. My skin for yours
and carve it out with your tongue
we wash with soap
and water for the wicked

I jabbed out my eyes
pinned them to your wall
so you could see the one
thing you would never look
at alone

I held my heart between my legs
and crossed my chest with pens.

I faked an orgasm once again
and taped it to my wall.

I cleaned you up
from between my twins.

The flesh was raw
your scent stayed.

Fuck my heart
it only comes once.